


I'm Sorry

by Calypphire



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Blackmail, Character Death, Dark Ron Weasley, F/M, Flashbacks, Gen, Good Draco Malfoy, Good Severus Snape, M/M, POV Alternating, POV First Person, Ron Weasley Bashing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:15:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22360936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calypphire/pseuds/Calypphire
Summary: Hermione is being blackmailed.  Draco is trying to save her.  Ron is...Rated Explicit to be on the safe sideNote; the Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley is to indicate they are in a relationship - but NOT a happy one. But one of abuse.I have added this here now, as I was asked to remove the tag, I did not know people use them to trick people to reading their stories, tricking people to reading what I write is not how I roll, so this forewarning is here - along with note inside if you choose to go further and read.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	1. I'm Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Edited:  
> This fiction is a re-write to a fanfiction under the same name. It was written - the original - by my own sister 15 years ago, and the last time she touched it was 14 years ago.
> 
> She wrote it because she was obsessed with Dramione fictions - and I think she still ships them, though she no longer writes, (though she's does have talent with the written word, and I am not saying this because she is my sister, I am saying it because that girl does have talent!).
> 
> When digging for ideas for stories, I came across this and asked her if I could re-write it - obviously putting my own spin on it, as we're two different writers and things grow and change over the years... though it's pretty easy to spot the different personalities, too, LOL.
> 
> If you wish to read the original hope over to fanfiction.net and look up "AeroKitty" and the title "I'm Sorry".
> 
> (Note, I have have been given permission to re-write some of the other stories she's written, so look out for those).
> 
> _Writing this extra part - I have been asked to remove the Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger in the relationship tags, I am going to explain very clearly out of due respect. There are reasons behind why I place certain relationship tags, or tags in general, not all of them are for the reasons people may think or believe or wish for them._  
>  _An abusive relationship is still a relationship, whether people agree to this or not, so it is out of my belief as a writer that I put correct tags where it may be fit._  
>  _We are all different in how we write, it is simply up to the reader whether they choose to venture within, or not. I will be putting warnings within the chapters where due needed. ut I will not remove tags where I believe are necessary, thank you._

Chapter 1  
I’m Sorry

Draco:

How can you not remember me?  
I know you do!  
You shouldn’t be walking up that aisle, toward _him_! In that dress so beautiful and white!  
I can see the shimmering upon your cheeks; from the speckles of tears glistening from your bright eyes... hiding what I know to be fear.  
You should not have been roped into this!  
You know he’s doing this because he’s nothing but a control freak with a jealous streak!  
But he has you... he knows it, as you continue walking toward him.

You _never_ loved him! You loved me... and I know you still do, deep down... though I am here, in the crowd, forced to watch as you reach the altar, to begin the next part of this charade of love and devotion he proclaims to have; only I know that what he is doing is not love!

I feel a slight wetness upon my cheek, when did I start crying? Was I crying?  
You are so beautiful! You are warm and caring!  
He doesn’t deserve you! Not after all he put you through... and I know he’s going to put you through a lot more.  
I know it. You know it.  
I hear him speak.  
Oh... how I wanted to get up from this seat I am stuck to and punch him in the throat!

There was no sincerity in his tone. No warmth, though he was a ‘good actor’... his mother was dabbing her eyes with the corner of a fancy handkerchief, a proud smile upon her blissfully unaware face.  
How does she not know her youngest son was something far worse to the Dark Lord?  
Perhaps I am overestimating, but what does it matter?  
One does not have to be part of the Death Eaters to be nasty.

But, all I can see was his mother seeing her youngest son, her own child, getting married to this beautiful woman, whom she will get to call her daughter-in-law...  
I pity the poor woman. If only she knew, but I cannot fault her... no more than I can fault my own mother for loving me.  
For a brief moment, I see the father looking over at me. It was only for a split second, but I saw it.  
My gaze goes down, I wasn’t sure if I saw his expression correctly, but I can sense the hate he had, believing that I am to blame for what had happened... based upon a lie! A huge one!

The shatters of your voice ringing through the chapel cause me to look back up.  
You’re terrified.  
I know.  
It should be me up there; with you... placing that finger upon your finger, speaking the vows to you, and your vows to be in return.  
When the priest asks for any who wishes for the marriage to not continue, you sure as hell bet I wanted to speak up.  
I wanted to more than speak; I wanted to shout to the high heavens for this falsehood to stop! Because it was nothing but a fucked up rouse!

Yet, I am unable.  
I am gagged into silence.  
He made sure of that!  
I saw him flash a smug like glint toward me.  
If only looks could kill. My grey eyes were probably blaring daggers... or the killing curse... one of them.

Many applause and well wishes as you make your way, arm linked with your new husband. The bloke I have hated since the moment I laid eyes on him; knowing from the start that he was a bad seed... able to fool almost anyone and everyone with his so called charms... including a certain boy who survived the Dark Lord’s wrath, which saw his own downfall.

You had come to learn the truth about me.  
As did the Boy-Who-Lived... but then he... your new husband...  
Where did it all go wrong?  
Why was he there, at your side, instead of me?  
You halfheartedly wave and force your smile... among the fresh set of tears.

Then you see me; it startles you, for you certainly didn’t see me when you were going toward him. That was the point; you weren’t meant to see me... until now... when it was too late.  
A smirk upon his face, knowing he had won you.  
Won you in the cruellest of ways imaginable!

But for a moment, a mere moment, you pluck up this unspeaking courage and go right over to me, almost uncaring for any who sees... and knowing full well on the consequence it would truly bring as you wrap your shaking arms around my neck, and whisper;  
“I know it wasn’t you, Draco! I know! I just wish...” you say to me, your beautiful, affectionate voice broken with your unmistakable softened cry. “I will always love you!”  
“And I you, Hermione,” I reply just as quietly, before he, Ronald Weasley, takes you ‘tenderly’ by the elbow and pulls you away.

But I saw that tightened grip he had, I saw the flinching within your beautiful brown eyes... and his menacing blue... you know what is to come when you are alone with him...  
Why can no-one else see?

Because he had managed to find a way to get his way... because he couldn’t bear to be within someone else’s shadow... a footnote to history... why else would...?  
Yet... there he is, ‘gently’ hauling you away from ‘the criminal’ who was forced to witness him capture you, out of blackmail... as well as jealousy.

Jealousy that I had wasn’t the purest that I was portraying to be... that I do have a certain open-mind toward those who come in from having Muggle parentage... if they deserve it. You and I had come off on the wrong foot... I know I was once a jerk... but... well... things have a way of changing now don’t they?

He was jealous on how his ‘best friend’ was starting to see me in a different light... as well as a few other Slytherins; one in particular, who also started off as a complete arsehole – and he will admit to that and regret that, but he knew he was forgiven for that, many times over.

But, _nnnooo_ , Ronald Weasley couldn’t have that!  
I could see the quiet anger from his sister, Ginny; she was also forced into silence...  
Their parents... how are they so blind to him?  
Ginny gives me the slightest of sympathetic looks, as we both witness Ronald Weasley taking you, my wonderful and dearest Hermione, into the awaiting car.  
I know I saw the fear within you...  
I know he is going to hurt you...  
I wish I could stop it...  
I wish... I wish...

My heart was breaking; like I know yours would be, too, seeing the car pull away from the curb and...  
The feel of my hands clenching into fists; oh how I wanted this whole thing to be nothing more than a bad dream.  
Many people were hurting... all because of the shit that went down... and I was the one they decided to pin it on!  
Yet... why was I invited to this wedding?  
There had been many confused faces on this, I had seen them.  
I peer back at Ginny; I could see that she will do her best to protect Hermione whenever able.

In the meantime, I am being transported back to my home, a simple little house Severus had found for me when I chose to step away from the lifestyle I had once been accustomed to. I was to be housebound for the next few days, being the conditions of my sentence.

They couldn’t prove that I had done it... but they wanted someone guilty and punished... and since I was able to ‘escape’ the cells of Azkaban Prison, thanks to the help of certain helpful character witnesses, who have been doing all they could to testify in my favour... but they still wanted...

_**I DID NOT KILL HARRY POTTER GOD DAMMIT!**_

I wanted to yell it to the roof tops!  
But all I could do right now was slump into my armchair, with a spirit glass in hand with straight bourbon, not bothering about the ice.  
I could only think of what he was doing to you right now, Hermione...  
I am so... so sorry...


	2. Deep in Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus reflects on the time gone by...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning: This chapter does have not so nice overtones; where it gives over to what happened to Harry.**

Chapter 2  
Deep in Thought

_Severus’s POV_

Things do not go as they often intend; yet in some ironic twist of fate, they find a way to be one of the worst moments in your life... or the most joyous.

Never was there ever a thought in my mind that I would ever think of him like that. But then, when I first laid eyes on him, he was a first-year student and I have never once thought of that during all of my years of teaching at Hogwarts. At least... not until him... but it was called self-control... I think...

I don’t even know when I saw him differently, but I recognised the shift within me, somewhere during the sixth year. However, because he was still every bit a student, I stayed away, also the simple fact that he was still under seventeen! I am not even going to go there! Nope! Not a blazing chance!

There was also the fact that I did have to ‘keep up appearances’, thanks to a certain uprising, which involved the return of the Dark Lord Voldemort. How I detested my past choice in becoming one of the followers, somehow ending up right in the inner circle. I really ended up way too deep, and I shall forever curse myself for the occurrences that have happened during my time as a Death Eater.

What was just as difficult was doing what I could to carry out the wishes of the late Albus Dumbledore.  
I exhale at the thought of the Headmaster, and how things had unfolded with him.  
No more than when my mind switched back over to...  
I knock back the shot of firewhisky, ignoring the head throbbing that was beseeching me to stop the bombardment of alcohol, telling me that I have had way too much.

I still remember when he first confessed to the same feelings he had in return for me. Neither of us was prepared for it, but I suppose that’s the point of it, you never genuinely know about the other person, and how they truly feel, unless...  
Wasn’t to say that I never felt guilty for how I was before then, for I was.  
I was a complete and utter arsehole! No denying it! I did what I had to because... why did I agree to becoming a Hogwarts Professor?  
Oh, yes... a form of redemption and a way to redeem myself, keep me out of Azkaban Prison and a new lease of life. If one can call what I had a life.

Having to look over my shoulder, wondering if any of the parents of the students was going to have my guts for garters – and I am not talking about say the Abbotts or the Longbottoms, no, I was talking about the Goyles, the McNairs and others who formed the once thriving group that was feared among many; followers of the once ‘great’ Lord Voldemort.

Truthfully, I wasn’t really looking for companionship, or love for that matter, simply because I was afraid to open up to the aspect.  
But then he broke through that, little by little, until...  
He was just days away from eighteen before we shared our first real kiss.  
It had caught us both by surprise, as neither of us was expecting it to actually happen; yet when it did, whatever walls we may have had between us no longer existed.  
Not everyone was pleased when they learned of our relationship, when it started to come to light, however.

Draco Malfoy was in support of us, of course he was; he was with Miss Granger for a time. He had been able to wake up to the stupidity of Pureblood supremacy that had been sprouted about for too long. She, once you saw under the ‘know-it-all’ persona she had placed upon herself, is a beautiful soul. The know-it-all front was a defence, so I come to learn, she was, or rather is, very intelligent, yes, being that she was on top of many of her classes, but she was sensitive and could bring out the best in others.

She was fast to accept us, Harry and me; though concerned at first, to be fair, but overall, wasn’t standing in the way of her friend’s happiness. Just like how Harry accepted Hermione for her being with Draco; he was wary at first, understandably, but when he saw how she was treating her, he was contented, which turned to being genuinely happy, for as time went by Draco and Harry did become friends.

Unfortunately, while there were those who could accept, there were a good number who just could not.

It took a great deal of getting used to from a certain family, who have treated Harry like another son and brother, to warm up to us being together, but they eventually one by one, come to acknowledge this. Ginny and the twins being the first, I don’t think Arthur Weasley was overly worried, but he did give me the ‘if you ever hurt Harry’ spiel, which is something, I would have thought, might have come from his wife, Molly.

However, Ronald Weasley...  
My upper lip went up just at the very thought of him, let alone the image of him in my inner eye.  
I skol back another shot of Firewhisky.  
So many words to describe just how much I hate that little bastard!  
He was once a flame to Hermione Granger; whilst teaching at Hogwarts, it wasn’t really a shock to learn of who was with whom and whatever gossip or truths were happening.

But, I know I wasn’t the only one of the staff to have noticed the affects of certain relationships, either; for me, in particular, the one between Weasley and Hermione.  
Now, I know full well that before this happened, Draco and Hermione were unknowingly courting each other, until, at some point, they were starting to get closer. I had also noticed the bloody redhead being none too pleased by this, and it was pretty telling to say the least.

Finding ways to sabotage, or even humiliate, Hermione, somehow ‘convincing’ her to be with him, instead.  
I have seen the markings, though she was doing her best to hide them in some shape or form, via make-up or certain placement of clothing.  
There were a few times where I, and even Minerva, would set the girl aside and ask if she was okay. Regardless of my feelings toward certain things in life, I abhor to the thought of a man raising his first in anger to strike a woman, no matter the age. Hermione would deny what was happening at first, until things went a little too far.

By then, Hermione had broken things off with the youngest Weasley boy, and Harry was starting to really distance himself from him, too, as it seemed that whatever friendship that had sparked between him and Draco, it wasn’t sitting well with the dunderhead.

However, Weasley was not going to let go...  
He _tried_ to commit one of the most atrocious things anyone could ever commit, and it was sheer luck that I happened to be walking passed the area at the time, when I heard what was going on.  
Weasley didn’t take it too kindly to the ‘interference’, but it saved Hermione, regardless.  
Due to such an incident to occur, parents had to be informed.

While Mr and Mrs Granger were rightfully outraged and wanted to pursue charges or whatever legal channels available; what sickened me was that his mother didn’t want to believe that he would ever do that to Hermione!  
“But... he loves her! He wouldn’t do that! Maybe if she had of stayed with him, and not go with that other boy...”  
Unsure about Mr Weasley, but I think he, too, didn’t want to believe it, either.

Wizards want to pride on how different they are to Muggles, yet when it really boils down to it, there is not much difference at all – particularly when a person like Ron Weasley is able to get away with so much... yet if it was Draco Malfoy... or myself... the irony of it all!

Charges were pursued at first; but somehow were dropped, I have my hunches on how that transpired, but I haven’t been able to speak to Hermione since her forced marriage to the fuckwit she’s stuck with!  
Especially since it also involved the murder of...  
The sound of glass smashing against a wall; I had thrown my spirit glass, the hurt in my heart...  
_We were happy for bloody sake!_  
Harry broke through whatever barriers I had up... He forgave me for my being a royal dick... He... I...

What was worse is that our son wouldn’t fully know his maternal father personally. It was out of sheer luck and quick thinking that saved him from meeting the same horrendous fate... and yet many want to still believe Draco was the one who carried out the act; the blatant glares, the rude questions and unhidden harsh judgement when they see Draco with Harry’s and my son.

I hear him shifting and stirring, so I manage to get up from the little dining table of the dining and kitchen area that was part of the house Harry and I called home.  
I didn’t want to have us living in the townhouse of my childhood, in Cokeworth, and Harry had given up the house he had inherited from Sirius Black, claiming that it never felt right, as much as he cared for his godfather, and did appreciate the gain of a house; he felt it was best served for a different purpose.

Of course Ronald Weasley put up a stink, claiming Harry was a fool for giving up a house that big and grand; choosing a cosier one with me, in the countryside, where our children would have wide open spaces to roam.

‘At least Harry would have that wish through our only son,’ I think to myself.

I see him popping his little head up, seeing my appearance at the door to his room, followed swiftly by him sitting right on up in his little toddler bed, putting his arms out for me.  
Unable, and seriously unwilling, to deny him, I go over to him scoop him up, holding him close to me.  
I had never in a million years thought of ever being a father, yet when I saw him entering into the world, it felt as though a missing piece had been filled; other than being with Harry, of course.

Arlo is really the only living thing I have left of Harry; other than Hedwig, who attached herself to Arlo the moment the eclipse of Harry passing away and Arlo beginning his first breath.

People really ought to listen to animals where it is really needed, for the snowy owl was very "vocal", as she was in the area of when it had all transpired.

Hedwig literally kept swooping and doing her all to dig her talons into Ronald Weasley; fending off anyone who tried to arrest Draco Malfoy, and was exceptionally ballistic when the redheaded bastard tried to take Arlo from Malfoy’s protective arms; my heart sours at the memory of the scene I had entered.

I, myself, tried to speak, but everyone was convinced that what they had been told by Weasley was true.  
Harry slipping away, a bloody mess from being brutally...  
My arms subconsciously firm even more around our son; I gently carry him out of his room, and take him to mine.

Harry survived the brutality of having our son ripped out of his womb, and held on as much as he could, though he was incapable of speaking an utter word; but I still remember the mixed emotions that was on my husband’s face, seeing Arlo being given to me by Draco – before some dunderhead Auror could stop him; it was the last time I would see the light within his eyes before it was no longer.

But I know words are not needed to get the message across.  
I saw... Harry was never really any good at Occlumency, but this was a different sort, one that was for me to understand.  
I just wish there was a way to get the truth out, to have justice done for Harry and all who were unfairly...  
History was repeating itself once more, it seemed, corruption at its finest.

People are still willing to believe that it was the son of a former Death Eater who murdered the great Harry Potter; they wanted to believe that I had placed the same young wizard under some control potion – being a Potions Master... yet... wasn’t our son proof of the love we shared?  
No... Ronald Weasley covered that too, and it almost cost me in having anything to do with this little boy I cherish so much.

Arlo shifted his head a little when I placed him on the bed, his green eyes opened for a moment to look right at me, filled with the trust and love I know was in them... the same trust and love his maternal father held for me before with the same eyes, and before him...  
‘I am so sorry, Lily,’ I think to myself.  
I lower on to the bed and pull my nearly two year old son to me.  
Arlo resettles quickly; whereas I just lie here and wonder where to go from here.


End file.
